


Minerva's Wish

by nevejoannis



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-29
Updated: 2016-11-29
Packaged: 2018-09-03 02:52:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8693578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nevejoannis/pseuds/nevejoannis
Summary: "I didn't see her. She was nowhere to be found when I walked through the field, and I didn't even notice. How could I have forgotten about Minerva? I turned quickly, wildly searching for my Deputy, but I still couldn't see her." The Final Battle is over and Voldemort is dead, but Albus Dumbledore realizes Minerva has disappeared. Will he find her before it's too late?





	1. Chapter 1

I stood, stunned, as Harry Potter finally defeated Tom Riddle. It was over; we’d won the final battle. I rushed over to Harry when it became obvious he was going to collapse. He was in shock and his magical core was severely depleted, but he was alive. I assured him he’d fought well, that someone would be over to help him and his friends soon. Miss Granger seemed to be fine besides a few minor cuts and shock, but Mr. Weasley looked the worse for ware.

I left them with a healer to survey the after effects of the battle, checking our numbers, observing who was still with us. I saw many faces I knew, luckily, but we suffered our share of casualties. Molly Weasley, for one, was crying over the body of one of her twin sons, though I couldn’t tell which was alive and which had died. I made my rounds, offering comfort and support to those who needed it, before being struck by the gravity of the situation.

The war was over, and I was there to see it. Truthfully, I never fully believed I’d see the day. Despite the state of affairs surrounding me, I felt hopeful for the first time in ages. We’d be all right. Minerva and I would rebuild the school together, and everything would be-

I froze. With horror, I realized my mistake.

Minerva! 

I didn’t see her. She was nowhere to be found when I walked through the field, and I didn’t even notice. How could I have forgotten about Minerva? I turned quickly, wildly searching for my Deputy, but I still couldn’t see her. Where was she? My heart thumped painfully in my chest. I had to find her. Nothing else mattered to me at that moment except finding Minerva. 

I used a spell that almost immediately pointed me into the Forbidden Forest. My heart sunk a little further. Why would she be in there? Oh God, what if something had happened to Minerva? 

No. I told myself, banishing the thought quickly. I couldn’t entertain that thought; it was too horrible, too terrifying, to even think about. She had to be okay. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if she wasn’t, knowing I should’ve been there to protect her. The images of what may have happened to her, at the state I would find her in, kept relaying in my head and I walked faster, praying to every deity I could think of that she was alive and well. 

Deep in the forest, or at least deeper than I’d anticipated the spell suddenly dissipated, indicating that I’d found her. I looked around frantically, at first seeing nothing. But then I saw a huddled mass of emerald green robes that could have only been Minerva McGonagall, lying on the forest floor. My heart lurched when I realized she wasn’t moving.

“No! Minerva!” I ran to her side in an instant, falling to my knees beside her body. I turned her face up with trembling hands, gasping when I saw the amount of blood and her pale, too pale, face. I already felt the tears burning my eyes as I looked at her, every single regret I had regarding her coming to the forefront of my mind. I never told her how I really felt about her. She was, of course, my best friend, but she had no idea of the deep, passionate feelings I held for her. I loved her; I’d fallen in love with her decades ago, but every day I spent with her only made me love her even more. 

I cradled her in my arms, looking at her through blurry vision. I had been such a fool all these years, too scared to tell her for fear of being rejected and loosing her forever. At that moment, though, it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered but saving Minerva. I didn’t care if she didn’t reciprocate my feelings, I didn’t care if she never wanted to speak to me again once she knew. I just wanted, no, I needed her alive. 

“Minerva,” I whispered. “Minerva, please.”

I attempted every healing spell I could think of, but nothing seemed to work for her. She was breathing and had a pulse, but it was faint. The bleeding stopped, but there was so much blood already… Her condition didn’t change, and I had begun to fear the worst. “Please,” I said, closing my eyes.

“Al…” I heard a faint voice and my eyes flew open as I looked down at the woman held in my arms.

“Minerva! Oh thank Merlin you’re alive. I thought I’d lost you.”

“Albus?” She opens her eyes a fraction to look at me. “Oh, good. You found me; I was hoping you would. I was waiting for you.”

My breath caught in my throat. She’d been waiting for me?

“Yes my dear, I found you. Just hold on, I’ll carry you back and get you help.”

“No,” She protested. “Please, I’m sure you’re exhausted. Besides, I won’t make it all the way there. I barely… made it this far.”

The joy I felt at finding her alive started to ebb away into worry. “What do you mean?”

“Bloody death eater… cursed me. I managed to kill him, but whatever curse he used… I was so tired. I tried to get back… I only made it this far. I knew you’d find me.” She said, bringing her hand to my cheek. I held it there with mine. Tears ran down my face but I did nothing to stop them.

“I will always find you, Minerva. Please, just let me-”

“No, Albus. Stay here with me. I only waited because I wanted to say goodbye. I couldn’t let myself fall asleep without seeing you first.”

For a moment I was sure I felt my heart stop beating. “No, please. You’re going to be fine! Tom’s been defeated, Tabby. We don’t need to say goodbye yet.” Knowing she wouldn’t allow me to move her, I cast my patronus frantically, telling the healers where to find us.

“Albus…” I looked down at my lap. “There are so many others…”

“Sh. There are plenty of healers, Min. You’re my Deputy, I can’t let you go yet. I’m so sorry I wasn’t here…”

Minerva smiled at me. “You’ll find a new Deputy, Albus. Don’t apologize; you had your own battles to fight. It was my own fault I wasn’t fast enough.”

“I don’t want, nor do I need a new Deputy, because you’re not going anywhere! It doesn’t matter don’t you see that? The others could have managed without me. I should’ve been keeping you safe. I should have followed you, protected you, instead of letting some bloody coward lead you so far away from the rest of us.”

Despite her condition, I saw the anger and defiance creep into her eyes. “Albus Dumbledore, I can take care of myself, thank you very much. Merlin knows I’ve been on my own long enough, I refuse to… allow you to make yourself feel guilty about this.”

I smiled to myself. If I could keep her awake; keep her talking long enough for the healers to find us, maybe I could save her. 

Minerva’s body was suddenly rattled by a coughing fit, and I held her closer to me, fear consuming my sudden hopefulness. She must’ve known, because when the coughing subsided, she smiled at me again. Though this time, it wasn’t nearly as easy for her to accomplish.

“It’s alright, Albus. I’m all right. Please, don’t worry. Just hold me close; it’ll be over soon.”

“NO!” I screamed despite myself, and she flinched. “I-I’m sorry.” I told her in a softer voice. “I just… It’s not over, okay? Don’t give up. I refuse to let you die.”

“Sh… Albus, darling…” Her eyelids fluttered for a moment before focusing back on me. “Please don’t be so upset, I’m not. Harry’s alive, I’m sure Mr. Weasley and Miss Granger are as well, or you would have told me. Voldemort is dead. You have plenty to celebrate when this is over; don’t let me spoil it.”

As she spoke, I watched the light in her emerald eyes dim, but her focus remained solely on me. It was just like her, to think of the positive in even a moment like this one. Always trying to comfort someone else, regardless of what was happening to her. She wasn’t even afraid; no, she was ready. She didn’t expect to be saved, and yet she only focused on my pain, my fear. The tears came faster at the thought of loosing her. What was taking the healers so long? I had to think of something, anything, to distract her.

“You can’t give up, Minerva. I won’t let you. You just need to hang on a bit longer, my dear, and help will come. Where’s that stubbornness I saw just a moment ago? We’re so close, Min, please. You’ve just got to fight!”

“For the love of Merlin, Albus!” Minerva suddenly sounded much stronger than before. “I have been fighting! It’s what got me this far, right? But I’m… so tired, Albus. Please, I don’t want to spend this time arguing with you.” The strength in her voice faded just as quickly as it came. 

“You’re right… you’re right. I’m sorry. I just… I can’t loose you, Minerva. Can’t you see that? I can’t do this without you. You’ve been at my side for so many years, I can’t live without you.”

“Don’t say that!” She was whispering by then, much to my horror. “You have to. Please, do it for me. I have to know you’re going to be all right before I go.”

I shook my head. “No, I can’t. Not without the woman I love.” The words left my mouth before I could stop them, but I no longer cared. I would have done anything, said anything, to keep her with me.

Minerva’s eyes widened, “Albus, what-” Her words were cut off once again by a coughing fit, but this one was much worse than the last. I held her closer to me.

“Al…bus…”

“Minerva, sh… it’s alright, my love. All of these years I’ve wasted with you… I’m so sorry. I love you so much, Minerva.”

“Why… Why didn’t you just… tell me?” 

“I was afraid. I didn’t know if you would reciprocate my feelings, and I couldn’t risk ruining my friendship with you. It’s been so important to me.”

“Silly old man… You’ll never loose me, no matter what. Besides, you didn’t have to be afraid…”

“I know that now, I’m so sorry. I don’t care about that anymore love. Even if you never want to speak to me again, I’ll live with it, but you have to survive this. Please.”

“I wish I could, my darling, but I’m tired.” She brought her hand to my chest, over my heart. “Let me sleep now. Just hold me close and let me sleep.”

I did as she asked; almost crushing her against me, hoping my body heat would help. I put my hand over her’s, flinching when I felt how cold it was. I held her hand over my heart, willing my life force to help her somehow. 

“Don’t leave me alone…” She begged suddenly, squeezing my hand. 

“Never, Minerva.” I promised her. 

She smiled at me, but it only lasted for a moment. Her eyelids fluttered closed and I panicked. 

“Minerva? Minerva! Stay with me, please! I need you! Don’t go!”

Her eyes opened. “It’s alright Albus… I’m always with you, darling. The ones we love never leave us, remember? I’ve told you that for years…”

I nodded, because it was true. So many people we knew have died since Tom came to power… and even though she was just as devastated as I was, she’d always smile at me through her tears and tell me the same thing.

The ones we love never leave us, Albus. They wouldn’t want us to be sad forever. Instead we must cherish their memories and live how they would have wanted us to live. 

But I wasn’t ready for her to leave me yet.

I felt her squeeze my hand again, but this time not as tightly. “I love you, Albus. I always have. Thank you… for being here.”

My heart soared at her declaration, but came crashing back down when I realized I was loosing her. I held her hand as if it was my lifeline, and in a way, it was. I’d never be the same Albus Dumbledore without Minerva McGonagall in the world.

“I will always be here for you, my love. I love you so much, Minerva. Please, stay awake. We can be together now. Don’t go.”

“I want nothing more than to be with you forever Albus. I love you. I’ll still be with you, just not… in the same way.”

The sobs I’d been trying to suppress couldn’t be contained anymore, but I didn’t care. I could feel my heart breaking. “No!”

“Sh… Don’t be upset love. I’m sorry, I know it’ll be hard for you… but you’ll be all right, I promise. I’ll be with you now and always, Albus. No matter what happens. Thank you so much, for… everything.”

I smiled despite the pain, stroking her hair. I hadn’t even noticed, but at some point she had begun crying as well. I let go of her hand and wiped away her tears. “Sh, my dear. Just rest, help will be here soon.”

She took my hand back in her trembling one before shaking her head. “Oh, Albus.”

Before I could second-guess myself, I leaned over and placed a gentle but reassuring kiss on her lips. Despite how weak she was, I was happy to feel her responding. 

I felt something cold and wet land on my head, and I was forced to break the kiss to look up and realize it’d started to rain. I cast a shield over us so that the rain wouldn’t hit Minerva and lower her body temperature further.

“Al…bus…” I looked down at her, straining to hear her quiet voice. “Thank you so much, my darling. I’m so glad I waited for you. You’ve made me so happy… I love you, always…”

Minerva’s hand suddenly went limp, as did the rest of her body in my arms. Her eyes, still staring unwaveringly into mine, finally closed. 

“Minerva! No, Min, please! Come back! Don’t leave me!”

I whipped my wand out faster than ever before, desperate to bring her back to me.

“Rennervate!” When she didn’t wake, my heart stopped. No! I can’t loose her, not now! Please!

“Minerva!” I shook her, but her head just fell limply to the side. I stroked her face, not caring that I got blood on my hands.

“Please…” I sobbed, leaning over and kissing her multiple times. “Don’t go… I love you. I’m so sorry. Minerva, wake up! Please!”

I turned my face up to the sky as I screamed.

“NO!”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I didn't see her. She was nowhere to be found when I walked through the field, and I didn't even notice. How could I have forgotten about Minerva? I turned quickly, wildly searching for my Deputy, but I still couldn't see her." The Final Battle is over and Voldemort is dead, but Albus Dumbledore realizes Minerva has disappeared. Will he find her before it's too late?

I bolt upright in bed in a cold sweat. The images from my nightmare immediately assault me again, and I feel my eyes burning with unshed tears. 

Minerva…

I’ve had recurring nightmares about the night I lost her for months. I wake up from reliving my own personal hell and there’s no relief in waking up, but there’s nothing I can do. I was too late to save her. Minerva’s wish was for me to go on and celebrate Riddle’s defeat, not to let her death spoil it. No matter how much I want to honor her, I can’t force myself to do so. 

I bury my head in my hands as the tears stream down my face. I’m so sorry, my love…

I look up suddenly, a thought occurring to me. What if… What if it wasn’t real? Perhaps it had just been a terrible nightmare! Of course, it must have been, nothing could have happened to Minerva. She’s probably sleeping peacefully in her quarters right now.

Despite the late hour, I jump out of my bed, donning my robe and exit my quarters, practically sprinting toward Minerva’s rooms. I have to check, make sure she’s all right. 

It feels like years, but I finally make it to her portrait and whisper her password before the door opens to me. I step in immediately, seeing the darkness of the room. I try not to let this concern me too much, because of course, Minerva must be sleeping. I know I shouldn’t disturb her; she’ll hex me into next month if she catches me trespassing in her room in the middle of the night. I can’t help it though; all I need is to see her sleeping peacefully and well in her bed, then I can leave without her ever knowing I was here!

I go to her bedroom door, slowly opening it. I step inside and close the door gently behind me, before turning to the bed. 

My heart falls to the floor just as it had in my nightmare. Minerva isn’t here and the bed is made. It doesn’t look like anyone has slept in it for months. The room itself doesn’t even look like it has been visited in nearly as long. 

It feels like my heart is breaking all over again as I realize what a fool I am. Minerva, my beautiful Minerva is gone. My nightmare had been real after all; I’d lost the only woman I’ve ever loved. 

It hits me like a thousand bluggers for the second time tonight and I can’t keep the tears at bay as I stare at the empty bed. 

“Oh, Merlin, Minerva… My darling I am so sorry, this is all my fault! What am I going to do without you?” I cry, burying my head in my hands. 

Suddenly a voice whispers softly from behind me. “Albus? Whatever is the matter?”

My heart pounds frantically in my chest. I look up and turn around, staring straight into the beautiful emerald green eyes of Minerva McGonagall.

“Minerva?” I ask, afraid I’ve fallen back asleep and this is just another dream.

“Yes?”

“Oh, Merlin…” My eyes must be playing tricks on me. She’s haunting me, isn’t she? I let her die and this is my punishment. 

“Oh my love, I’m so sorry!”

She furrows her brows in a confused, almost concerned way, “What are you talking about, darling? What on earth do you have to be sorry about?”

“I should have tired harder to save you, Min. I should have said to hell with your demands and gotten you the help you needed before it was too late! But now you’re gone and I can’t do a thing to help you.”

“Albus, what…” Suddenly a look of understanding passes over her face and her eyes soften. “I’m not dead, Albus. I am not the newest ghost haunting the halls of Hogwarts. I’m right here, flesh and bone. You can’t see through me, can you?” She gives me one of her little half smiles that I loved so much.

I stare at her, blinking. She has a point, but this must be another dream…

“Albus. Love, come here.” She says, taking a step closer and reaching out her arm to me.

I reach for her hand. “Oh, you’re here! You’re alive!” I pull her body toward me quickly and rather forcefully, crushing her against me. “I thought I’d lost you.” I whisper, my voice trembling.

“I was only in the bathroom for a moment, dear. I came out and you were gone. Why on earth did you come into my old rooms?” I hold her tighter. 

“Sh, Albus.” She pulls away to look into my eyes. “Oh, darling… you had the dream again, didn’t you?”

I nod, not letting her go. If I let her go, she might disappear. “My love, look at me. I’m here. I’m alive, thanks to you. We’re together now; everything is just as it should be.”

I hesitate before nodding again, “I know.”

She smiles at me. “Come, lay back down.” She walks us to the bed after pulling the covers back with a wave of her hand, pulling me down beside her, still facing me.

“Everything’s alright, dearest. I know you still feel guilty about that night, but please don’t. I’m alive only because of you. If it weren’t for you I would have died in the Battle like I was supposed to.”

I feel myself tense instantly at the thought. “Sh! Never say that!” I say, putting a finger to her lips to stop her words, but she only kisses my finger in response. I stroke her cheek with my hand before moving to her neck, subconsciously making sure her heart is still beating.

“I love you so much, Minerva. Don’t go.”

“Never, Albus. I love you too much.” She says, wiping away the tear still on my face. 

She leans in to kiss me, which I return immediately. After a moment, I deepen the kiss, needing her as close to me as possible. I move an arm around her waist and pull her on top of me. Moving a hand to her breast, I begin gently massaging it and she moans, but pulls away to look at me. Her eyes are full of love, something I’m sure she sees reflected in mine.

“Really, darling? Now? It’s the middle of the night. Not that I’m complaining, of course.”

“Yes. I want you. I need to feel you as close as possible.” 

She gives me a sly smile. “Well, when you put it that way…” She vanishes her thin silk nightgown, leaving her naked above me.

She leans down to kiss me again, grinding her hips against me at the same time. I feel myself responding almost immediately from her ministrations. I wrap my arms around her, breaking the kiss to instead plant small ones on her neck and jawline. 

“You’re so beautiful, my love.” I whisper in her ear. She shivers.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

She hums with contentment and laughs, before pulling even closer to me and purring in my ear.

“Prove it, Albus.”

I groan, looking up at her. “As you wish.”


End file.
